Lets just say i’ve learned since my last posting on this, that is for SURE.
Looking back at this, the only word that i comprehend is VULNERABILITY.
I never thought my life would change, i thought i’d love the change, now all i do is wish for things to go back how they use to be. I miss how things use to be. I realized i take things for granted, i beat myself up over that. My life has changed COMPLETELY. I’ve learned not to trust because noon’es trustworthy these days, however it could just be Quincy. One paticular person who worked months and months for my trust and refused to give up, Jon Lambus, the one i fell in love with, my first love, my everything. I’m still confused on the idea of how much i truly love this one guy. It’s like nothing else matters when i’m with him. He’s been there at my worst and sure as hell deserves me at my best. I didn’t think i could find true love this early on, and call me crazy i’m keeping him forever. He’s 1 in a million, i can’t explain to other people because not many get to feel this way with someone. Switching subjects, school.is.dreadful. I refuse to go, i can’t deal to be there with my mental problems. Everyone judges, every girl talks shit, i would have to be someone who i’m not to have 32435872733-434258405732054 “friends” like the insecure girls there. I’m not like everyone else, i’ve never been. I crave to find TRUE friends, sad huh? I refuse to settle for less. I’ve messed up my sophmore year, lost focus, but i’m determinded to start over a new leaf next year, if i last there. Going there, is like going to hell. I wish i was exeggarating. Dear god can the next 2 years fly by !?
I always seem to do this. Maybe I just lose interest fast…
or i’m just really turned off by the whole “bad ass” criminal shit.
Either one, How the fuck do I get myself out of this
I’m going to snap. I CAN’T TAKE ANYONE’S FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE.